Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you

[dharmalady]

Juliet Scott was married for five years. Three of them were good. She was young, Damien was too. They were in love and carefree; had fun and had a lot of sex, traveled to a lot of places. She'd been on track to start med school but when she met Damien, she wanted him instead, and she thought she'd always choose him over everything.

Until she got pregnant.

He stuck around for a few months but then, conveniently his job took him away and the stretches of time between being home and being gone were longer. He was never a bad dad to Mia, not once, but it was like a chore to be home, to be a husband and civilian again. Juliet missed him but she tried to talk to him about it and it was a fight, every time. He had a job, he had missions, he couldn't just give that up. So she decided a year and a half ago to not make him choose anymore. She sent him divorce papers, certified mail, with a letter explaining to him that she was tired of feeling like she and Mia weren't a priority. Like he didn't want to be there when he was back in the states. She wasn't surprised when she got the signed paperwork back with no note in response.

She and Mia have been solo ever since, the two of them moving to Miami to be closer to Juliet's sister. Med school finally happens, and now Juliet's an intern and Mia is five. It's been hard, harder than Juliet ever thought she'd have to do on her own, but she's doing it. She's never told Damien he can't be a part of Mia's life, she's never tried to keep him away from her. When she moves, she makes sure someone in his branch of the military, wherever he is, gets her address. She's not even angry at him anymore, just sad that it ended this way between them.

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[inthewar]

"You're not alone," he says quickly, maybe too quickly. "You're not, Jules. I know I...I haven't been here. I haven't for a long fucking time. But...I'm here now, okay?"

[dharmalady]

Juliet turns to face him and her eyes are so wide and shining because of her tears. And then, without thinking, she reaches out and cradles his face in her hand. "You won't leave me again?" she asks quietly.

[inthewar]

He leans in, kissing her forehead tenderly. He can feel how much pain he's caused. Her walls are down, she can speak openly to him, and he knows how much he's hurt her.

"No, Juliet. I won't leave you or Mia."

[dharmalady]

Juliet looks at him and then she leans in, pressing her lips to his and kissing him, urgently almost, not thinking, drunk, just needing to not feel alone anymore.

[inthewar]

For a moment, he responds without hesitation, leaning in to kiss her. It's a soft kiss, though, meant to soothe. It's tender and affectionate, but he realizes quickly what this could lead to and he can't do this when she's so vulnerable. Pulling back, he strokes her cheek a little with his knuckles.

"You're not alone," he repeats to her, wanting that to sink in.

[dharmalady]

"Good," she whispers quickly, and then she shifts to his lap, kissing him again, over and over, her hands cradling each side of his face as she does. "Damien, I need you. I need this, please."

[inthewar]

Fuck, when she shifts to his lap, he's a goner. For a moment, he can't think straight. He never thought she'd want him like this again, that her lips would be pressing to his with such heat and desperation.

It takes all of his resolve to not give in, and he gently pushes her back. "Honey, we can't do this. You're not thinking straight."

[dharmalady]

"I'm thinking," she protests, trying to kiss him again, doing it and then pressing her forehead against his. But then, then she just cries, breaking down in his arms. "She left me," Juliet manages, finally crying hard for the first time, letting herself fall apart. "Why does everyone leave me?"

[inthewar]

Damien wraps her up tightly in his arms, gently coaxing her head to rest against his shoulder so she's completely comfortable as he holds her.

"No one's leaving you anymore."

[dharmalady]

Juliet holds onto him tightly and presses her face to his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I did that. I'm sorry, Damien."

[inthewar]

"No. Don't fucking apologize. If it were any other time, I couldn't have stopped myself. But we're not gonna do anything until you have a clear head again," he tells her. And by then, he's sure, she'll realize it's all a mistake.

[dharmalady]

"I just....I miss you. And no one else has ever been you," she breathes out, implying that she hasn't slept with anyone else because she still wants it to be him. She's so incredibly drunk that she has no filter, and she twists in his lap, reaching for the rum bottle, not wanting to lose the fog because when she does everything will be terrible again.

[inthewar]

He keeps an arm around her waist, rubbing her back a little. Hearing those words is a surprise to him, that she's never bothered with anyone else. He's slept around plenty, but...he's never loved anyone. He never could.

"I miss you, too. I wish I could be the person you need. And deserve."

[dharmalady]

Drinking straight from the bottle, Juliet twists the cap back on and then drops it on the couch, keeping it close. "You were. You were. And then....and then..." She looks at her hands, forehead creasing. "I got pregnant. And you got scared. Why? We...we were together. We could do anything, Damien, I believed in us, why didn't you believe in us?"

[inthewar]

Deep down, he's always known he hurt her badly, but hearing the raw emotions now is difficult to contend with. His voice is quiet when he speaks.

"I don't know, honey. Because I'm a lousy fucking guy who just fucks up good things."

[dharmalady]

It always made her so damn angry because she knew he was better than that. That he just 'fucks up good things' is an excuse. "I needed you," she says drunkenly, head falling against his shoulder as her eyes get heavy.

[inthewar]

"I know you still need me and I'm here. I wasn't and I'm here now," he speaks softly, stroking his fingers over her head.

[dharmalady]

"Do you still love me?" she asks quietly, beginning to fall asleep. "Because I do. I do love you. And that hurts too," she whispers.

[inthewar]

He doesn't know what good can come of telling her the truth but he whispers close to her ear. "Yeah. I love you, Juliet."

[dharmalady]

Juliet falls asleep to those words, and thanks to the alcohol she's out like a light, dead weight against him as she breathes deep and evenly in his arms.

[inthewar]

Damien just holds her, kissing her temple and stroking her hair. "I love you," he whispers again. Eventually, he lifts her up and carries her to bed, tucking her in and kissing her forehead, lingering before going to bed himself.

[dharmalady]

In the morning, Juliet feels like garbage, and immediately goes to her bathroom to drink a glass of water before crawling back into bed. She lays there, thinking about what she can remember, and she remembers all of it. There's so much between her and Damien, things they might not ever be able to fix and maybe that's just the way it is. She's afraid to let him in again because of what happened before.

Groaning into her pillow, she lets herself lay there for another hour before forcing herself up, thankful that her only side effect from last night seems to be that she's parched. Taking a long shower, she comes out and goes to the kitchen for more water, avoiding looking at Damien.

[inthewar]

Damien's been handling Mia all morning, and he's never really done this before by himself so he's partially terrified, but he thinks he's doing okay, getting her fed. She chose to wear mismatching clothes but it doesn't seem like a point he needs to argue, really.

While she's watching a movie, he goes to Juliet in the kitchen.

"Feeling okay?"

[dharmalady]

Juliet clears her throat and nods a little. "I will. Just need to get hydrated." She finally looks at him, eyes moving over his face.

"I'm sorry. For the things I said. I didn't mean to hurt you if I did. I was...well. Drunk."

[inthewar]

He shrugs a little, brushing it off. It's nothing he didn't deserve to hear, really. "You told the truth," he says, letting her off the hook.