Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you

[dharmalady]

Juliet Scott was married for five years. Three of them were good. She was young, Damien was too. They were in love and carefree; had fun and had a lot of sex, traveled to a lot of places. She'd been on track to start med school but when she met Damien, she wanted him instead, and she thought she'd always choose him over everything.

Until she got pregnant.

He stuck around for a few months but then, conveniently his job took him away and the stretches of time between being home and being gone were longer. He was never a bad dad to Mia, not once, but it was like a chore to be home, to be a husband and civilian again. Juliet missed him but she tried to talk to him about it and it was a fight, every time. He had a job, he had missions, he couldn't just give that up. So she decided a year and a half ago to not make him choose anymore. She sent him divorce papers, certified mail, with a letter explaining to him that she was tired of feeling like she and Mia weren't a priority. Like he didn't want to be there when he was back in the states. She wasn't surprised when she got the signed paperwork back with no note in response.

She and Mia have been solo ever since, the two of them moving to Miami to be closer to Juliet's sister. Med school finally happens, and now Juliet's an intern and Mia is five. It's been hard, harder than Juliet ever thought she'd have to do on her own, but she's doing it. She's never told Damien he can't be a part of Mia's life, she's never tried to keep him away from her. When she moves, she makes sure someone in his branch of the military, wherever he is, gets her address. She's not even angry at him anymore, just sad that it ended this way between them.

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[dharmalady]

"I just....I miss you. And no one else has ever been you," she breathes out, implying that she hasn't slept with anyone else because she still wants it to be him. She's so incredibly drunk that she has no filter, and she twists in his lap, reaching for the rum bottle, not wanting to lose the fog because when she does everything will be terrible again.

[inthewar]

He keeps an arm around her waist, rubbing her back a little. Hearing those words is a surprise to him, that she's never bothered with anyone else. He's slept around plenty, but...he's never loved anyone. He never could.

"I miss you, too. I wish I could be the person you need. And deserve."

[dharmalady]

Drinking straight from the bottle, Juliet twists the cap back on and then drops it on the couch, keeping it close. "You were. You were. And then....and then..." She looks at her hands, forehead creasing. "I got pregnant. And you got scared. Why? We...we were together. We could do anything, Damien, I believed in us, why didn't you believe in us?"

[inthewar]

Deep down, he's always known he hurt her badly, but hearing the raw emotions now is difficult to contend with. His voice is quiet when he speaks.

"I don't know, honey. Because I'm a lousy fucking guy who just fucks up good things."

[dharmalady]

It always made her so damn angry because she knew he was better than that. That he just 'fucks up good things' is an excuse. "I needed you," she says drunkenly, head falling against his shoulder as her eyes get heavy.

[inthewar]

"I know you still need me and I'm here. I wasn't and I'm here now," he speaks softly, stroking his fingers over her head.

[dharmalady]

"Do you still love me?" she asks quietly, beginning to fall asleep. "Because I do. I do love you. And that hurts too," she whispers.

[inthewar]

He doesn't know what good can come of telling her the truth but he whispers close to her ear. "Yeah. I love you, Juliet."

[dharmalady]

Juliet falls asleep to those words, and thanks to the alcohol she's out like a light, dead weight against him as she breathes deep and evenly in his arms.

[inthewar]

Damien just holds her, kissing her temple and stroking her hair. "I love you," he whispers again. Eventually, he lifts her up and carries her to bed, tucking her in and kissing her forehead, lingering before going to bed himself.

[dharmalady]

In the morning, Juliet feels like garbage, and immediately goes to her bathroom to drink a glass of water before crawling back into bed. She lays there, thinking about what she can remember, and she remembers all of it. There's so much between her and Damien, things they might not ever be able to fix and maybe that's just the way it is. She's afraid to let him in again because of what happened before.

Groaning into her pillow, she lets herself lay there for another hour before forcing herself up, thankful that her only side effect from last night seems to be that she's parched. Taking a long shower, she comes out and goes to the kitchen for more water, avoiding looking at Damien.

[inthewar]

Damien's been handling Mia all morning, and he's never really done this before by himself so he's partially terrified, but he thinks he's doing okay, getting her fed. She chose to wear mismatching clothes but it doesn't seem like a point he needs to argue, really.

While she's watching a movie, he goes to Juliet in the kitchen.

"Feeling okay?"

[dharmalady]

Juliet clears her throat and nods a little. "I will. Just need to get hydrated." She finally looks at him, eyes moving over his face.

"I'm sorry. For the things I said. I didn't mean to hurt you if I did. I was...well. Drunk."

[inthewar]

He shrugs a little, brushing it off. It's nothing he didn't deserve to hear, really. "You told the truth," he says, letting her off the hook.

[dharmalady]

"Still." She's not a cruel person, and she doesn't want to come across as that even if her words were true.

"Thank you for being up with Mia. I don't...know what I'd do right now if you weren't here for this."

[inthewar]

"She's a fucking good kid," he smiles, and there's so much love and pride in his eyes, he doesn't even realize.

[dharmalady]

"And you're a good dad when you're here," Juliet says gently. "I know you said you're staying, but I wanted to actually tell you...I want you to stay. I've always wanted you to stay. You should. You're good at this, Damien."

[inthewar]

He knows she loves him, so that's out there now between them. And he knows he loves her, he knows he loves his kid so damn much. But it's all been...pretty damn easy so far. Too easy.

"I don't feel like I'm doing much. Just...loving her like fucking crazy. Is that what a dad does?"

[dharmalady]

"Damien, that's what any parent does. If you have love, everything else just...happens. You got her fed today, got her dressed, she's happy, she's content, you love her. What else is there?"

Obviously, she knows there are other things, that parenting takes a lot out of a person and it's not always so simple, but she knows what the foundations are, and Damien has them.

[inthewar]

"Don't kids get upset about stuff? They don't listen sometimes? I don't know how to handle that stuff," he says quietly.

[dharmalady]

"You think I did whenI started? And I figured it out alone," she points out. "I mean. Not for nothing. Mia has laid in the middle of the grocery store and cried until I had to pick her up and carry her out. Abandon the groceries and just leave. But you deal with it, Damien, and you figure it out. And you have me."

[inthewar]

He nods a little and folds his arms loosely over his chest. "I guess I can handle a five-year-old," he smirks a little. "I'm sorry you had to do all this alone, Jules."

[dharmalady]

She shrugs just a little. "It happened, Damien. And I came to terms with it a while ago. I'm just sorry you missed out on so much that was really, really great."

[inthewar]

Those words almost hurt more than what she said last night, but she has a right to say them, too. He did miss a lot, so much. Things he'll never get back, not ever.

Mia had the good parent with her, though, and he's glad for that.

"Yeah. I know. I know I'm an asshole."

[dharmalady]

"The longer you're here, the less I think that's true. So. Keep doing this," she says softly, then goes to sit with Mia, though she nods at Damien to join them, to cuddle Mia on the other side of her.